I live in the city for cripe's sake! Sort of.

The Starbucks lady was in a much better mood today. She wasn't working the register so that may have had something to do with it. And it's Friday...so there's that. Regardless of the reason, she was downright pleasant and all is right with the world.

I haven't made any plans with the ex, but am pretty sure that I will end up going out for drinks against my better judgment. Even though I've thought a lot about how it's a really bad idea and that I should remain sober and in control. There is still the possibility that it will happen that way and there is also the distinct possibility that we won't go out at all. It's not like he has my number (even though it's the same one I've had since the late 90's) or like I have his (because he definitely does NOT have the same number...I tried that when I couldn't find him last time) so unless we're on facebook at the same time, no plans will be made.

The 24 yr old is working two full time jobs and apparently has no time for anything or anybody. Except beer pong. I understand people have their priorities. Whatevs. The summer of boys is turning out to be a big dud. I suppose I can always check out match.com again and see what fresh batch of lame-o's are on there. I also need to check and see when that subscription is up again so I cancel it before they renew without authorization.

I'm off to take Max for a walk since the dew point is back in a reasonable range. I am all about heat, but when it's 90 degrees and the dew point is in the 70s, just walking from my car to my house made me sweaty. And Max is only comfortable in a very small range of temperatures. Like my Mom. Hopefully we don't have any coyote sightings. That's right, you read correctly, I said coyote. There has been one roaming around my neighborhood and I wouldn't have believed my neighbor when she told me about it, but I'm pretty sure I saw it the day before she told me. It was running down my street and I thought it was a stray dog that looked a bit like a German Shepherd. I now have to go outside with Max to watch for this coyote so he doesn't try to eat my dog. This puts a crimp in my morning routine since Max likes to just run around the yard aimlessly for about 15-20 minutes before doing his business. I usually get up 20 minutes before I need to leave. You see how this is a problem. I can't exactly get ready while I'm sitting out on the porch waiting to scare off a wild animal. And what the hell am I going to do to a coyote anyway? Hopefully it's afraid of all people as I am not a very big one.

Maybe she could hear me rolling my eyes?

So I go to Starbucks this morning for my grande iced vanilla soy latte 'cause that's how I roll when it's 77 and humid at 8:30 am. If it were cooler I would have gone with the tall hot caramel soy latte. I used to drink the coffee made at work, but after we were out for a week or two and I got used to Starbucks and the Peace Coffee that I make at home, the coffee at work now tastes like ass and I want no part in it. I cannot, however, drink regular black Starbucks coffee. It makes me feel like I'm on crack and then I crash into a post-caffeine hangover where I feel nauseous and have a headache. So I opt for the latte, with soy milk because I only drink organic milk and while they sell little Horizon milk boxes, I don't think they offer it for use in their drinks. I could be wrong about that. (Side note: I just looked up from my computer and noticed that it is suddenly pouring rain and super windy outside. I'm hoping for hail so I can get the massive scrape on the side of my car fixed from when I had a run-in with a concrete post.) Back to Starbucks. I only have a half hour for a coffee break so I just want to get my latte and head outside to read Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (Hi-larious, but I have no link for this book...I couldn't decide on amazon or barnes and noble...you should support your local bookstore, unlike me who bought it at Target). There wasn't a line so I was fired up, until I slowly came to the realization that the lady in front of me with the cute southern accent and the rolling briefcase was buying several mugs, wanted them filled with coffee and also wanted to buy a bunch of the little graham cracker/cookie/snacks that they sell. Sigh. The girl takes my order anyway, but they only have one register open and while they have the manager there plus three worker bees, no one seems to think it would be a good idea to open the second register to deal with the obvious sales rep for whatever. Then the lady with the cute southern accent and rolling briefcase offers to pay for my drink because I'm having to wait for her. Except she wasn't that nice about it. It was sort of like a backhanded payment because she thought I was annoyed at having to wait. True, but not the point. She thought this because, while I had accepted her offer, I was still standing there...because I was certain that she wouldn't be able to tell the register girl that what she was paying for was a grande iced vanilla soy latte. Just making sure that Starbucks was properly compensated for my beverage. I was as gracious as one could be after having her drink begrudgingly paid for by someone who was buying an obnoxious amount of shit for 8:30 in the morning. Later in the afternoon I went to grab some lunch at the student union, I get into the shortest line and slowly realize why it's the shortest line. Yep, the lady with the cute southern accent and rolling briefcase is now buying a bunch of Panda Express meals complete with fortune cookies. Unfortunately, I was not directly behind her so I had to pay for my spicy California roll and strawberries. Dang. On an up note, I spent my lunch break reading while taking long glances to the side at the two shirtless guys with nice bodies putting up a tent on the lawn. Not a bad way to spend 30 minutes if you ask me.

I've been afraid this was going to happen...

...I got recognized by one of the pizza guys at my local Davanni's. I have officially gone there so many times to pick up my medium, thin crust, veggie works pizza that dude behind the counter was like "That's Asia" to the guy at the register and "I totally remember you" to me. I can only say that at least he's cute and I believe that he thinks I'm cute too. I was taken aback though because I just got my hair cut short and dyed blonde with red underneath yesterday and feel like I would be unrecognizable to someone that I don't see that often. Like, for instance, Pizza Guy. He's not even there every time I come in. Yikes. I probably order pizza once or twice a month. Maybe three times. It's hard to say...I'd have to check my bank records. And I don't want to do that. It might be sad. I really can't help it...I happen to love pizza, dislike grocery shopping, get too lazy to grill or cook and today it's too warm outside to turn on the oven. I have a salmon fillet in the fridge that I was going to cook on the grill, but I just didn't feel like it and decided that pizza sounded delicious. And I'm having one of those I-had-a-few-cocktails-last-night-and-just-want-to-eat-crap-all-day kind of days. I had chips and salsa for a mid-morning snack. This whole Davanni's thing is not the first situation that has led me to decide that my life is becoming more and more like Miranda on Sex & the City. Chocolate instead of sex was the first one. Not that I'm on strike as she was, but still. There have definitely been times when I've made brownies or eaten several pieces of dark chocolate instead of trolling for a random guy to have sex with. It's safer I suppose, but not as satisfying. So I now have to be on the look-out for an old boyfriend with one ball...and run away!

Gratuitous boob

Sorry it's been way more than a day since my last post!

Updates:

1. Went to see M. Butterfly with my darling Karoline. What's that? Penis? Um...yep. There was a disclaimer on the ticket stating that there would be nudity, but we assumed boobs. And there were boobs, albeit gratuitously, not really serving a purpose to the plot. That was in the first act so we figured that we were in the clear, or at least that if there was more nudity it would probably be the same chick. Well, lo and behold, towards the end the guy who's been playing a woman for the whole play reveals himself to his lover. And by reveal, I mean reveal. Props to the actor who dropped his pants, the theater was not very warm. ;)

2. After the play, we went to the Bulldog NE and, upon being booed by her husband's friends due to the fact that they were on a "boys night", bellied up to the bar. The bar was pretty crowded, as it should be, and there were a couple of occasions to be annoyed by bubble-invading, creepily staring guys. One of whom, totally interjected into our conversation and then proceeded to just stand there staring at us (er..Karoline) while we talked. Eventually he did walk away, but it took him quite a while to get the not so subtle hint. Enter a guy (who shall remain nameless due to, well, don't worry about it) who walks up to the bar with his two friends. The two friends order beers while this guy orders water, says it about 5 times and then pulls a quarter out of his pocket, slams it on the counter, and says "That's for the water". Man...this guy was hammered! He's a rather short, young-looking guy wearing '50s style clothes. Picture Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future, only with sort of wavy hair and '50s-era glasses. Karoline and I give him a little shit for trying to pay for water in the first place and then let him know that if this were 1950, he was overpaying anyway. Don't ask me how I got started talking to him on my own...I blame Karoline...or one of her husband's friends who came over to talk to her. I was thinking he was very young and decided that I had to know, which of course starts as a guessing game and ends with me looking at his driver's license where I find that, while I think he's no older than 22, he's actually 34. Huh...I'm bad at that game. We're having a bit of back and forth where I'm refusing to tell him my name or my age because I'm not 100% sure that I want to be talking to him in the first place. I later give in to both and he gets overly fired up about my name and considers my age to be a blessing of some kind because it explains why I seem a bit jaded (or something like that...I, while not drunk, was drinking and things are a little foggy). It comes out that he's getting his PhD in Philosophy and is super intense and passionate about things, such as the meaning behind my name. Which I know and do not find all that interesting, but apparently is fascinating for this guy (who will from this point forward be known as "the philosopher"). To make a long story a smidgen shorter the conversation ended with me giving him my damn phone number and saying that I had no good reason to say no to going out with him. This is because I couldn't say to him that my good reason is "dude, you're like the same height as me." That would have been kind of mean right? Even if it's true. I have an issue with short guys, or rather, dating short guys. I do not find them to be particularly attractive and while I know that attraction can come with knowing a person's insides, this only works for me if the guy is already in my circle of friends. For "new" guys, I can't get past it. It makes me uncomfortable...and I really like to wear heels...high heels. I have a weird thing about needing to feel smaller than the guy (understanding, of course, that I am small and that wearing heels defeats this purpose). It's irrational, but it is what it is. As I try to remain open to going out with the philosopher, as time passes, I feel less and less like I'm actually going to. Partly because I don't really have time in the near future with work, school and the ever growing dandelion field in my front yard and partly because I kind of don't want to waste his time or give him the wrong idea. I suck at dating.

3. The computer saga continues. It took me 2 weeks to download the statistical software that started this whole mess in the first place. Meaning that I didn't even get to use it for the second to last homework assignment that requires it. It was a massive 3.88 GB file that kept timing out due to my apparently horrific internet connection and then it wouldn't restart without starting from the very beginning...well I finally figured it out but am now trapped in the "deployment wizard" which I am not finding to be very wizardly. So it's not actually installed and I fear that it never will be. Or at least that it's going to take some serious computer know-how which, for those of you that know me, I do not have. I will pray to the computer/dating gods to send me a cute, relatively tall, hopefully tattooed, computer geek who will fall madly in love with me and my pretty pink computer. And Max, of course.

Ok, I'm off to the grocery store and a gardening center. Probably in reverse order.

One of geeks was kind of flirty...I'm starting to consider things.

Let me just preface this by saying that I'm getting as sick of talking about my stupid computer problems as you probably are of hearing about them. But, sadly, this is mostly what has been going on in my life as of late. So last night I went to retrieve the data I had stored on my external hard drive. You'll be shocked to hear that it did not work out as one would have hoped...or anticipated...or expected. I plugged it in, the computer downloaded the driver software and off it went categorizing the files on my PC. While it's doing this, I'm noticing that the external hard drive says that 0% of it's space is being used and the backup and retrieve tabs are greyed out. I was hopeful that once it was done doing whatever it was doing, everything would show up and I could move on with my life with my photos and homework assignments in tact. Nope. It finished categorizing and then just sat there...lifeless. I couldn't even backup the pre-implanted sample pictures of pretty scenary of places that I'll never go, let alone retrieve my memories. Once again, after about an hour of trying to figure out what the issue was, I started to get a little teary. It's not that I had volumes and volumes of pictures to lose, but they are important to me nonetheless. I was less concerned about the lost music since I still own practically every CD that I've ever purchased/been gifted minus the horribly scratched and/or stolen ones. But the pictures were upsetting to me. After a while, I gave up on the stupid external hard drive and started poking around in those windows.old files that I couldn't figure out before. Low and behold all of my stuff was still in there. So I spent a couple of hours moving everything including program files for programs that I thought I would have to redownload. This of course includes the virus software that I had already replaced with a brand new (and newly paid for) version of. Oh well...at least I got my memories back right? Yeah it was all good. I decided to delete all of the software attached to the external hard drive and start from scratch. Which I did today. Plugged it in, computer downloads driver software and away we go. And what miraculously appears? Yep...suddenly my data is there, and the backup and retrieve tabs are usable. For crying out loud. Can nothing just work the way it's supposed to the first time? ARGH!!!!

I went to Target today. Oh Target. How I adore thee. Apparently while I scoff at paying $25 for a pair of admittedly cute little flats, I have no problem paying the same amount for a large metal container to put my way too long hose in so that it's not laying all over the sidewalk like a massive python. I'll probably end up with the shoes eventually. And do I really need another lip gloss? Sure, why not? I got a cute top and a dress. Upon leaving the fitting room, another woman was walking in with her man and as I walked away I could hear the attendant informing the woman that "Spouses aren't allowed in the room with you ma'am. We only allow moms in with their kids." I had to laugh...really? In a Target fitting room? To each their own I guess. And the attendant had reason to worry, the woman was trying on either a swimsuit or a bra and underwear set. What else...deodorant, undies, 2 bras, and some groceries. Including some sushi that is still not sitting quite right. $195 later and I needed to get out of there before I started buying new sheets and possibly some furniture! That place is evil. But I'll keep going back.

1...2...3...4

The TruGreen lawn guy parked his truck in front of my house and is canvassing the neighborhood looking for business. Max has been quietly (and occasionally loudly) barking at him for about an hour. Sigh.

My computer ended up at the Geek Squad for 2 days after freezing during configuring updates. I shut it down manually (oops), because it was frozen, resulting in improperly configured updates which left my poor little laptop stuck in a vicious cycle of restarting and reverting changes. It never stopped...poor thing. I brought it to the geeks and thankfully found out that I had not irreparably damaged the hard drive. Whew. However, $200 later, they had to do the same stupid clean install of Vista Ultimate that I had just done. Internet access is still through the unsecured public wi-fi in my neighborhood so apparently I need to get someone out here to figure out what the h is wrong. It nice to actually be wireless, but I don't like connecting to the internet through a public service when I have paid for it. Not to mention the fact that the connection is sub par at best, it's cutting in and out periodically while I'm writing this post. This whole thing confuses me to no end. I am so technologically-challenged. And if I have to reinstall one more thing I'm going to freak out. Double sigh.

Associated with the internet business, I tried to reconnect to the router I had purchased before I realized that what I was connected to was a router not a modem (this is a long story that is pretty boring so I'll spare you). I found out that whatever security key and/or password that was used to set up the new router network is totally unknown to me. I can see the network that has my name (well not my name per say, but my chosen network name) but I have no idea how to access it. LAME. Honestly...I paid for the damn thing and now I can't use it. I seem to recall at one point that there was a pre-filled password thing that I pressed enter on when I first bought this router so I don't think it's anything that I ever knew. Triple sigh.

I don't understand the point of group assignments. In one of my classes we were put into groups to do a 5 point assignment that will be the basis for an individual paper that's worth 30% of our grade. Not only that, but we were told that if after this group assignment, we disagree with what the consensus was, we can go in a different direction than the group for our paper. Seriously. What's the point of that? And let's be honest...who wrote the assignment for her group? This girl did. There were 3 other people in my group and only one other member gave any input. We got the assignment last Tuesday and met with our group that day in class. We discussed some stuff and then I decided we should work on google docs so that we could all give input. Ha! I put together an outline and let everyone know that I wanted the final draft complete by Monday evening. I'm a procrastinator so I figured I'd start working on it on Friday or Saturday. Enter aforementioned computer issues. The problem started Thursday night, I brought it to the geeks on Friday after work and didn't get it back until after work on Sunday. That's right, not only did I not have a computer, I had to work this weekend. And I STILL was the only one to create an actual paragraph. I don't expect that people should be any less of a procrastinator than I, but come on. Myself and one other group member were on google docs working on it yesterday late afternoon/early evening and I put the final document up and said if I didn't hear anything from the other two by 10 pm that what was written was being turned in. Well, one of them went onto google docs past 10 pm last night and had some questions and concerns (too late bucko) and the other went on this morning and said it looked beautiful and that she had nothing to add (of course not). WHATEVER. I hate group assignments for this very reason. Can I quadruple sigh?

Scarlet Begonias

No, I haven't become a profound poet. It's just the title of a Sublime song. Usually when I bust out Sublime it means that summer is beginning and I'm ready to go for a drive blaring 40 oz. to Freedom. It was 70+ degrees today so close enough. My girl Jess and I got together (and I got to see my little man Aidan) for some quality time and a beer. Unfortunately the restaurant we chose doesn't open their patio until Monday. Boo. But it was a bit windy so it's probably for the best. Oh and yes, Jessica drank a beer, or rather, most of a beer. It's apparently good for milk production...this is one of those things that I don't really need to know but find fascinating. She kept making an "ick" face which I found hilarious, but she went for it. Baby steps. Between the two of us we probably have the tolerance of a teenage girl so I think we were both a little buzzed up after ONE beer. Yikes. I better get to drinking so I'm fully ready for patio season!!

What else...After my last post I went back on match.com and messaged a guy. Sometimes I find a guy on there that I think is interesting; usually well read, likes non-mainstream music and film and doesn't watch a lot of tv. I usually pass up these guys with the thought that as much I would like to be that kind of girl, I'm not. I sing along to songs on KDWB (even Taylor Swift, damn her!), watch a crapload of tv and live in suburbia with a slight edge. I picture the conversation with such a guy going something like: Him "So have you heard the new blah-blah local band?" Me "No, I did buy the new Alkaline Trio though", Him "Have you been to this restaurant, it's totally hip and indie (paraphrasing of course)" Me "No, usually end up at Old Chicago", Him "What do you do for fun?" Me "Nothing really, watch tv, sleep", Him "This isn't going to work" Me "I figured". Now while I'm aware that having a conversation in my head with a hypothetical guy may seem a little nuts, I can't help myself. Last night I decided not to make the choice for the guy without letting him check out my totally awesome profile first. He can figure out later on that I'm boring and have no interests, right?

Ok, last two items. One granola bar in the box was open and crumbled up. And I found 3 ants crawling around in my bathroom. Wtf. Spring mouse? Ant farm? I can't take another mouse invasion. And ants in the bathroom...what the hell are they looking for? I mean I know my body wash is delicious smelling, but seriously, I can't imagine that it actually tastes like cherries and almonds.

Oh...one more thing. Lots of new people in my neighborhood (see last post regarding strange teenage boy) including someone with a car alarm that goes off every day. Every. Day. It goes "honk. honk, honk, honk, hoooonk, honk. repeat." For cripes sake dude, obviously it's too sensitive. And nobody wants to steal your p.o.s. car. Which reminds me...I saw a minivan with 22 inch rims bumping their stereo yesterday. Maybe they were 24s...huge, expensive-looking rims...on a minivan. Really? I love my 'hood.

Insert clever title here...

I've decided that I'm going to attempt to write something every day. We'll see...I'm usually all talk in these types of situations.

Recent happenings:

1. Max "injured" a paw, became fearful of several spots in the house, refused to step off of the rug without major coaxing or use of the leash. What a freak. He's better now...mostly. (I only say "injured" because for the life of me I can't find anything wrong)

2. The IRS didn't find my massive clothing donation to be suspicious and gave me a crapload of money back. This is tempered by the fact that it was my money to begin with. I want to use the money to fix up my bathroom, but don't really know where to start. I secretly want to spend it all on clothes, shoes and a vacation. The bathroom must win out.

3. I made it through my first semester of grad school without having a nervous breakdown. Yay. I found out that grad school is kind of easy...which is good seeing as I'm still working full time. I took too heavy of a load that first semester, but I made it! This semester is more chill. I'm taking the summer off of school so I can get a bit of a social life back!

4. On that note...I resubscribed to match.com...for no good reason. It's really not for me. I guess I just figured I'll see who's on there right now. So far I'm not impressed.

5. Deep-cleaned the house yesterday. My whole body hurts but it feels good to be in a clean house. So much fur!!! I'm surprised Max isn't bald.

6. Max and I took a walk today and just as we were walking up to the driveway some young teen guy came running at me from across the street. Scared the shit out me as I was deeply into some tunes blasting in my ears. He asks, through crunches of red Funyons (spicy Funyons? interesting), what's your dog's name? what kind of dog is he? and how old is he? I say 5 and he replies "isn't that too old?" I really wanted to say 'too old for what?' but I explained to him that little dogs live a long time. He admits to not knowing this fact and then proceeds to tell me that he has a dog that's "about this high" while his hand never really stops at any one height. I'm really trying very hard not to be like "is there a point to this conversation?" Cause you're not introducing yourself to me or moving this convo towards anything other than "cool dog ma'am." It was strange.

7. Upon opening the front door to go on above-mentioned walk...about 10 minutes after walking in the door from school...I'm greeted by a wasp. Wtf. That's all I have to say about that.

'Til tomorrow. Maybe. If I remember. :)