Thursday, August 28, 2008
My brain is broken.
I can't decide what to go back to school for. I think this may indicate that I shouldn't go back at all. Shouldn't one have a solid idea before making the decision? I long for the days of undergrad where you can be 'undecided' and still apply, and be accepted, to your school of choice. Where you can take general classes in a variety of subjects until you find one that piques your interest. Ugh. I'm getting a headache, an ulcer, and getting very close to completely shutting down. I've gone from environmental science to ecology to conservation biology to microbiology to epidemiology to journalism (threw that one in for variety). I work in the medical field and now am uncertain of if I want to get out of it entirely. I like being in the know and all that, but at the same time, it's not what I intended to do in the first place so I should be okay with leaving. Also, I don't want to feel like I've wasted the past 6 years working in microbiology, and I fear that if I leave the field, I will. Talk about quarter-life crisis. Maybe I should just give it all up and become a starving artist. Oh, that's right, I have no artistic ability. Save from writing. Writing does not pay the bills. Unless you are a journalist or something, hence the thought of journalism. I've tried a couple of career quizzes online and I've been told that I would like to be in administration...does that sound like me? I think not. I took one that involved choosing colors that you like to look at and was told that my 1st occupation choice would be as a creator (non-conformist, free-spirit, creative) and that my 2nd choice would be as an organizer (conformist, blah, blah) which to me is pretty much the polar opposite of creator. Argh. I'm bi-polar. And all this time I thought I was just depressed. Ha. Ha. I may need someone to make this decision for me. Any takers?
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2 comments:
Decisions decisions... I do not think lack of clear plan means you should scrap it all together. I think it is a sign of how important this change is to you, and that you are not taking it lightly.
So... my advice - make a list of things need to have in a career and things you do not want to have, then rate each option against the criteria, which ever gets the highest score - wins!
And - no matter what field you end up in, the last 6 years is not a waste - this is what Economics people call sunk cost - the time is spent, you cannot get it back, its value lies in how it helped shape you to be who you are today. Only thing you can do is take action to stop 6 years from turning into 12 years by chosing a path that does not give you what you need to be fulfilled.
Signed, deep thoughts by KY-er-H
My sister said it quite well... I was just going to throw my two cents into the "starving artist" argument. Its not glamorous at all... in the end you end up having your day job suck the life out of you whilst trying to get paid for your artistic side and it all ends up just being stressful. No wonder most actors, musicians and artists end up with massive drug habits.
Only thing I can think of is you do what you've got to do to wake up every morning and actually want to go to work. Find what that is and your golden... even if it means spending a few years doing something you don't like- just a means to an end.
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